Local woman's battle with bulimia

A local woman who has suffered from the eating disorder bulimia for almost 15 years has spoken of her long search for help, and how she found that support with the Northern Trust's Eating Disorder Service.

Describing herself as "a stylish dresser with a petite and athletic size ten frame," the 33-year-old said she may not fit the public perception of someone suffering from an eating disorder.

Now confident of recovery and able to enjoy her food, she puts much of the credit for the turnaround in her life on the relationship she has built up with her Eating Disorder Therapist and the use of the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Enhanced (CBTE) programme, which is specifically targeted at people over the age of 18 with an eating disorder.

"I now have fortnightly meetings with Anne. I leave those full of confidence. If anyone heard us laughing now, they might think there was very little wrong with me. Believe me, I have also cried my eyes out," she said.

"I know of CBT through my own professional training. You can't put your finger on it but, as you talk to your counsellor, something that may seem unimportant actually calls up something, perhaps from your subconscious memory or past and this has an effect."

Trying to pinpoint a trigger for her illness, she said: "I don't think I had issues with my family. More likely it is something I brought on myself through trying to attain perfection and avoid failure. I am so organised; it can be frightening. But I worry about what other people may think of me; That they may not actually like me as a person."

She said her bulimia was initially disguised when as a student in England, being a heavy smoker and party girl, thoughts of food were suppressed.

By the age of 21, however, she revealed she could be eating large quantities of food and then vomiting up to ten times a day.

Efforts at getting help brought frustration: "In England, the consultant I was to see forgot about the appointment." Back in Northern Ireland she was dismissed, simply told she was intelligent and knew what needed to be done.

Friends let her down, made her feel useless, as if she was not suffering from a 'real' illness and often friendships ended bitterly. In hindsight she realises that no-one was under any obligation to help but it was a very lonely and frustrating time. All those experiences, she said, delayed the hope of recovery.

"I tried a couple of other things, but there was nothing specific for me. People did not really understand. They could make very insensitive comments.

"I finally heard about the Eating Disorder Service through friends," she said.

"Through the Service, I attend regular meetings, keep food diaries and have an exercise programme. My weight has stabilised over the past six months. Before that, it would fluctuate by about five kilos a month. I am now eating what I want and doing so in public, in front of people I work with."

On the risk of long term damage to her body, the County Antrim woman is not sure. "It has upset my metabolism and exercise is an essential part of keeping my weight stable.

"My stomach is sensitive and I can feel sick. I have acne and I think that my bulimia might have made that worse."

She said: "I used to wonder how I could get over this. Now, with the Eating Disorder Service and support from my partner, I am much more confident. Recovery is within my grasp.

"I would highly recommend this service to anyone in a similar situation."

Imelda McLeod, Eating Disorder Service Manager with Northern Health and Social Care Trust said, "eating disorders are a very real condition and we aim to raise awareness of the condition and of our Eating Disorder Support Group.

The Eating Disorder Support Group (E.D.S.G) meets on the first Monday of every month from 7.00pm to 9.00pm at Ballymena First Presbyterian Church hall and is open to all".

The Northern Trust Eating Disorder Service is based at Frosses Medical Centre, Cloughmills.

An Eating Disorder Support Group, open to all across the Northern Trust, meets on the first Monday of each month in First Ballymena Presbyterian Church Hall.